


Human Offerings Bordering on Miraculous

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-14
Updated: 2012-03-14
Packaged: 2017-11-01 22:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>JJ was the woman he loved and Will would fight for her, for them, until his dying breath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Offerings Bordering on Miraculous

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of fans, myself included, think there may be some problems in JJ and Will’s relationship. That surely doesn’t mean they’re going to break up (much to the chagrin of some) but it got my head buzzing and I wanted to write about it. Nothing is perfect, especially love. The title comes from the Elizabeth Gilbert quote, “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”

The room was still empty when she came out of the shower later that night. JJ sighed, staring at the bed as she tightened her bathrobe around her. She had to face it. She had to face it and fight. Jennifer Jareau was a fighter, everyone said so. 

They knew if they messed with her or those she loved there would be hell to pay. But she wasn’t sure how to fight this. She wanted to cry. She wanted to cry, beg, and hold on too tight. 

The rational part of her wanted to slap the crying, begging, clingy woman. JJ just needed to be rational. Love was probably the least rational thing she could think of but that didn’t mean she couldn’t approach it that way. She would take a deep breath and take it on. 

So she walked out of the bedroom and into the hallway. Before going downstairs she checked one more time on Henry. He was sound asleep, just like the last time, but both JJ and Will had the compulsion. They checked on him at least three times a night. It was a law enforcement thing, Will assured her. 

His father had done it until Will was nearly a teenager. She blew Henry a kiss, turned, and went down the stairs. Will was right where she expected him to be, staring at his computer. That’s where she found him a lot lately. JJ had no real idea what he was doing but deep down she feared he was having an affair. 

She just wasn’t around. She wasn’t there and Will was lonely. When she worked at the DOJ, she came home at night and everything was amazing. For the first time in their relationship they got to be together. They talked, cooked, slept, made love, made plans, and had a blast being Henry’s mom and dad. 

Then Emily “died” and JJ went back to the BAU. Will was supportive; knew how much she loved that job. But it didn’t take long for his cracks to show. He became a virtual single dad again and a lonely man. 

But JJ was lonely too. Yes, she loved her job and never wanted to leave it again. But she wanted home to more than a tense minefield. She wanted Will back and was petrified he might not want her.

“Hey?” she leaned on the doorframe of the study. “Hey Will?”

“Hmm?” he looked up from the screen. “Hey Jen.”

“It’s getting late. What are you doing down here?”

“I'm just wrapping it up.”

“You’ve just…you’ve been having a lot of late nights and I'm…” JJ sighed. “I'm worried about you.”

“I'm fine, cher.” There was some concern in his eyes but not in his voice.

“Well I'm worried about us.” She countered.

Now Will really looked at her. He looked at her and loved her so much it hurt in his chest. He manned up and supported her return to the BAU. The problem was he supported it in words but not deed. Will couldn’t understand why JJ would want to return to a job that kept her away from her family so much of the time. 

The truth was that she was damn good at it. If not for the BAU then they would've never met in the first place. Will always kept that in mind. But that was nearly five years ago. Now she had him and Henry. 

The DOJ position allowed her to be with them. The BAU meant they had to micromanage their lives and just when he thought they were getting a few minutes together, the phone would ring. It was to the point where ringing phones made Will nauseous. Was it going to be a call saying something went wrong? 

Would they tell him JJ was gone? Would some psycho come for he and Henry like one had for Haley and Jack Hotchner? It was in her blood; being an FBI Agent was in her blood like being a cop was in his. Will was just trying to figure out what it meant that she couldn’t even give it up for family.

“Things have been a little contentious lately.” He said. “I can admit that.”

“Will, we’d have to talk for it to even reach contentious status. There's an ocean between us. There's a shark-infested, stormy ocean and I’ll drown if I swim against the tide. Are we…?”

What was the point of asking if they were OK? It was a yes or no question and Will would probably just say yes. He seemed so tired lately, almost as if he’d given up. They'd had a handful of barnburners in their relationship. 

Neither was against a healthy argument. Making up was always awesome and things were better when JJ and Will got it off their chests. Talking had never been a problem before now. The entire beginning of their love affair was all about words.

“Maybe if we meet halfway,” Will said, turning off the computer and standing from the chair. “We could swim the hard laps together.”

JJ started walking to him. He came from around the desk and walked to her. In his arms, JJ held on tight and exhaled. Will kissed the top of her head before stroking her blonde hair.

“I don’t want to lose you.” she whispered. “I'm not sure whether I’ll succeed or fail balancing family and this job but I do not want to lose you.”

He knew how tough it was for her to admit that. JJ was strong. She was probably born strong but she became even more so after her sister committed suicide. Her parents never really recovered; JJ raised herself. For so long the only person she could trust and rely on was Jennifer. 

That made everything difficult in the beginning of their relationship. Will was just trying to be with her and tiny obstacles would be like scaling the Great Wall of China. But Will took a deep breath and did it because he loved her. He loved her before she’d even left New Orleans. It was a battle and they both bore scars but Jennifer Jareau was the one. JJ was the woman he loved and Will would fight for her, for them, until his dying breath.

“Truth?” he asked.

They always asked that when what they were about to say was difficult to articulate and maybe impossible to swallow.

“Truth.” JJ buried her face in his shirt and inhaled. 

She loved the scent of him from the word go. Many men smelled the same…used the same cologne, smoked the same cigarettes, or sweat from the same sports. But his scent was so quintessentially Will. JJ couldn’t quite put it into words and she had tried. She tried on more than one occasion. The smell of her man and her son were the most comforting smells she could think of. The only place she got them was home.

“I hate your fuckin job, Jen. There, I said it. I hate being separated from you. I worry something will happen to you and Henry and I will have to be alone forever.” Will stopped for a moment, gathering himself. “I just want us to be together. 

“But I know what it means to you to be in the BAU. You’re damn good at it and it makes you happy. You do your best to give 100% to it and to us. I worry you're going to be split in half, burn out, run off, or end up in the arms of someone you don’t love because they happen to be the arms that are there at the moment. I just don’t want to miss you as much as I do but it’s inevitable when you're not here.”

JJ nodded. She understood everything that he said. It was just one part of the problem but it was out in the open. They were slowly opening doors and letting the elephant out of the room.

“Truth.” She whispered. “I'm petrified that you're always down here on your computer because there's some woman out there, miles away, whose arms you’ve already run to.”

“No.” Will shook his head. “There's no one else and there hasn’t been since the moment I laid eyes on you. I love you, cher. I miss you terribly when you're not here and a pair of replacement arms won't ever ease that ache.”

“So what are you doing?” JJ looked him in the eye. Everyone thought that Henry was the spitting image of his mother and she couldn’t argue with that. But his eyes were 100% LaMontagne.

“I'm working. I end up bringing much of it home because I have to be here for Henry. I don’t get to work on it until he's in bed. Its just work, Jen; there is no one else.”

She caressed his face in her hands. JJ loved his beard; she thought it was rugged and sexy. Will intended to shave it after Movember but JJ liked it too much. Just thinking about how it felt on her skin made her tingle.

“I love you so much. There’s always going to be obstacles, we’re only human. But you don’t have to always be the good guy. You don’t have to always play along, Will.”

“You’ve had too many bad guys in your life.” Will replied. “You don’t need that at home.”

“No, but I need love, honesty, and communication. I won't know if you don’t tell me. Or maybe I will and I can just pretend its not happening. I do not want you to be unhappy. I'm not in this for either of us to be unhappy.”

“Sometimes it is what it is. You're unhappy sometimes too, Jen. There are ups, downs, and times when we’re on steady ground. That’s life right?”

JJ nodded, wishing for the first time that she could have her patented ‘happily ever after’ like in the movies.

“I just don’t want us to resent each other. I don’t want to smile when I'm angry or cry when I'm alone. My mother did that and I promised myself that I never would. I don’t want Henry growing up in a painful silence that even his screaming can't shatter. I don’t…”

“Stop,” Will put his finger on her lips. “There are a lot of don’ts in what you're saying. Tell me what you do want.”

“I want you. I want my man and my family and our Sunday morning in bed cartoon fests. I want to work and be good at what I do. I want the stupid happily ever after that I probably won't get but I want it so much anyway. I want…”

He kissed her. He kissed her long, hard, and it took JJ’s breath away. She moaned into his mouth as Will deepened the kiss.

“Its late.” He whispered against her lips. “We both have to be up early in the morning.”

“Don’t we always have to be up early in the morning?”

“I won't even get into how much we need a vacation.” He chuckled some.

“There is something else I need.” She replied.

Will was still smiling when he kissed her again. Taking both of her hands, he led her upstairs to their bedroom. Even though Henry was sound asleep, he still pushed the door all the way up without closing it. This time JJ kissed him and lifted the Tulane University tee shirt over his head. Will sighed when she ran her hands over his chest. 

Her bathrobe hit the floor next; Will took a moment to drink her in. She was beautiful and no one would say any different. But JJ was something more to him. He could still remember the feelings in his belly the first time they made love. Most people didn’t know that it was on that first case they worked together. Will remembered the first time he saw her naked when she began to show with Henry. 

He also remembered the last time he saw her naked before she gave birth. Her body changed so much and not at all in the nearly five years they'd been lovers. Will stroked her shoulders before pressing a kiss to one. He loved JJ fresh from the shower. He loved her clean and new. He loved playing the beast to her flawless beauty.

“Say something.” JJ said, leading him between the sheets. The days of buck naked anywhere were long over.

“I love you, Jennifer Jareau.” Will pulled her to him as she pushed off his sweatpants.

They didn’t need to talk anymore, at least not right now. Both had expressed their feelings, told the truth, and now it was time to reconnect. It had been a while since they were intimate. One thing that had never been difficult for the couple was sex. In the beginning, the very beginning, Will feared that might be all JJ was willing to give. 

But with love and life and family came a whole new intensity to their lovemaking. There was a whole new intensity to everything. That only made it more unbearable when they were apart. But she was here tonight and Will planned to give her his undivided attention. No relationship was without its share of fears, misgivings, and wrong turns. That’s the way life rolled. 

But Jennifer Jareau made him happy. Even a little bit of time with her was more fulfilling than forever without her. He’d man up again and get over this hump. He knew she would reprioritize as much as she could as well. Together they would make it work. Together was the only way they were happy.

***


End file.
